THINGS THAT KILL A LOVING RELATIONSHIP

THINGS THAT KILL A LOVING RELATIONSHIP

Not Listening

Communication is the crux of all relationships, and if the communication is not strong then your relationship will not be. Not only is talking about your feelings important, but listening is also vital.

When your mate is unleashing his or her emotions on you, make it evident that you are taking what he or she says into consideration. Do this by showing a sincere interest in things you know are important to him or her, regardless if it is a minor thing or a major thing.
Also, if your significant other notifies you of an aspect of your personality or behavior that he or she dislikes that is within reason, try your hardest to prevent yourself from doing such things in the future. Although you may not completely eliminate that annoying habit, the effort that you show will be enough to satisfy that person.
Excess Baggage
Everyone has baggage; however, the key is dealing with that baggage and not allowing it to influence your relationship.

Everyone goes through obstacles throughout their day that cause stress. However, by no means should you tell your mate every time you are upset. With that said, do tell the person when something major happens to you-not when you've been plagued with something as minor as a paper cut. Nobody likes to be burdened with other people's downfalls on a constant basis because they are dealing with their own misfortunes as well.
Commitment Problems
With time, a certain comfort level is reached in a relationship. When this happens, a relationship becomes serious, or in other words, committed. For some, the word "committed" entails labels and obligations.
In order to be in a committed relationship, you must be mature and realize that it will take hard work and dedication to maintain. Make sure that your mate knows where he or she stands with you at all times. This is achieved through actions. Show your mate how much he or she means to you by writing a sentimental poem or by literally telling that person.
Commitment is scary for many because it serves as the end to just being you and the beginning for you being two. So if you are in fact serious about your mate, do not force him or her into a commitment; rather, let things ease into that stage. Do this first by taking the relationship day to day, and then as things progress, subtly slip hints that you are beginning to think about your future together.
Family Matters
The family – you have to love them even though most times it would be easier to throw pixie dust on them and wish they would vanish off to Never land. However, the reality is that you must make sure you are on your best behavior in front of them if you want a serious long-lasting relationship with your mate.
Keep in mind that you must think of this task as a job. You can make a great first impression, but the staying power of that impression is what counts. Make sure the family feels that you are not only getting to know them for your mate, but that you are also getting to know them because you actually like them as people. With that said, invite them to join you in activities that do not include your mate such as shopping.
Also, make sure you exercise great mannerisms. This means always cleaning the table after a meal without being asked and always offering to help in chores around the house. Not only must you go that extra mile, but you also must make sure you impress while doing so. This means always bringing a dish of the family's favorite food each time you come over, or calling the person's mom when at the supermarket to see if she needs anything.
Being a Workaholic
In this day and age, the height of success is a long and rough road to travel. In your voyage to riches, you may unintentionally neglect your special someone.
Your mate can only be so supportive. Remember a long-lasting relationship is as fulfilling as a successful career. As a career entails obstacles and levels to reach the top, so do relationships. However, this does not mean to place your relationship over your career, but rather balance the two.
To maintain this juggling act, you should try to invite your mate to work gatherings and keep him or her updated on the events in your career. This way they will feel connected to that aspect of your life and will be more understanding if you sometimes decide to choose work over them.
YOU DON’T NEED THEM
If your mate still ends up breaking up with you even after all of this, do not waste your time being upset; rather, be relieved with the reassurance that you can do much better.

DATE ideas....

Make it memorable!!! AND Unique!!!
Just to be sure it's memorable -
Record your date
Especially if it's a walk in the park or your date's first time bowling.
For example: take a one-time use camera and use it up - then plan to get together next week to look at the photos.

Leave the person you're dating with a memento or special reminder of your unique date (they'll think of you every time they see it) or email photos later...

  Art-fest
Get together huge sheets of paper and pens, or charcoal, or crayons or watercolors.
Take your date to an art museum or art gallery or art festival.
After, return home (or go to a park with a picnic table or other location) and create your own artwork.

Lickey Sticky Date
Go for a simple walk in the outdoors or along the beach. Build a fire and roast and share sticky, gooey, messy, s'mores.
Lick your fingers or whatever else it takes to get cleaned up...

Floras Notta Bora
A botanical garden, arboretum or a community garden can be a great place to visit, especially in the spring. Take a camera, snap pictures of each other frolicking through the foliage.

The next day - a Beautiful Bouquet

Drama Whamma
Try out local, small theaters, not just movies every time. Sometimes the plays are excellent and some are just plain entertaining.

Whip Up a Banana Split
Chocolate syrup, bananas, strawberry syrup, ice cream - build a banana split and apply whipping cream as appropriate�

The Big Laugh
Find your local comedy club and laugh yourselves silly.



Factory Functions
Factories and manufacturers offer interesting factory tours.
Type into your search engine: "Factory tour" "Your town name" and find your local tours.

Back to Nature
Drive to the country, or a park and hunt for 4-leaf clover�

The next day send a Field of Daisies

Historical Histrionics
Check out your local museums - there are history museums or nature museums or aeronautical or sports museums tucked away in an area near you.
For a History museum date
You can pick one era upon which to concentrate while you're at the museum. Then find a video or movie set in the same time-frame to watch after your museum tour.
Civil War - "Gone with the Wind"
First World War - "For Whom the Bell Tolls"

Sail Away
Take sailing lessons together.

Groovie Movie
Can't decide - tape a newspaper on a wall (or somewhere that you don't mind holes in the wall - like the inside of a garage door).
Open the newspaper to the movie/entertainment page and ask your date to throw one or more darts to select the movie� Bingo. Or limit the number of choices by taping up a limited number of movies and toss away.

The Fat Lady Sings
Try an opera - sit in the nosebleed section if need be (for the economy-minded) and take binoculars� (If you don't think this is hot, watch the movie "Moon Struck.")

Jazz It Up
Find local jazz - check out coffee houses or jazz festivals.

History Buff
Check out local historical sites Often there are walking tours of historical areas in your town�often self-guided.

Game-Playing
Hit the arcade get an ice cream cone, then go bowling�

Artiste Unleashed
Go to an Art Museum - afterward use ideas from the art-fest date - OR buy clay or other materials for creating your own sculptures - or paper mache or paper, fabric, photos for collage.

Radical Reels
As an alternative to regular movies - animation festivals, documentary presentations, foreign and limited-run films can be a blast. Do a little research and check your newspaper's entertainment section. Even museums sometimes run specialty films.

Extra points for Guys
Guys:
Give her flowers (and bring a special one for her mother) ++++
OR send her a bouquet that reminds her of your date...

Check Out The Signs....

How to tell she likes you:    She gazes in your eyes with deep interest and her pupils are dilated.   Her skin tone becomes red while being around you.       Her crossed leg is pointed towards you or if that same leg is rocking back and forth towards you.   She raises or lowers the volume of her voice to match yours.   She rubs her chin or touches her cheek. This indicates that she's thinking about you and her relating in some way...   She winks at you while talking to you or winks at you from a distance.   She exposes the palms of her hand facing you.       Biting of the lips or showing of the tongue, licking her lips or touching of her front teeth....     She starts sitting straight up and her muscles appear to be firm.   She puts her fingernail between her teeth.   She laughs in unison with you.   She touches your arm, shoulder, thigh, or hand while talking to you.   Plays with her jewelry, especially with stroking and pulling motions.     She twirls her hair around her fingers while she is looking at you.       Eyebrows raised and then lowered, then a smile usually indicates interest in you.   While talking to you, she rests an elbow in the palm of one hand, while holding out her other hand, palm up.   In a crowd she speaks only to you and focuses all of her undivided attention on you.   While talking to you, she blinks more than usual, fluttering her eyelashes.

Big smiles with upper and lower teeth showing with a relaxed face.

  She speeds up or slows down her speaking to match yours.

  She rubs her wrists up and down.

love poem.

A magic moment I remember:
I raised my eyes and you were there,
A fleeting vision, the quintessence
Of all that's beautiful and rare.

I pray to mute despair and anguish,
To vain pursuits the world esteems,
Long did I near your soothing accents,
Long did your features haunt my dreams.

Time passed. A rebel storm-blast scattered
The reveries that once were mine
And I forgot your soothing accents,
Your features gracefully divine.

In dark days of enforced retirement
I gazed upon grey skies above
With no ideals to inspire me,
No one to cry for, live for, love.

Then came a moment of renaissance,
I looked up - you again are there,
A fleeting vision, the quintessence
Of all that`s beautiful and rare.